Me Gorg....Cavemen Cowboy

Once you start writing things down, it pretty funny what starts to come back into your mind.  There are just little statements that have a lot of meaning as time goes on.  This lead to the thought that there are some things I am comfortable talking about and there are some that I am not.  For example I am comfortable talking about horses, starting colts, my kids and especially my Bride!   The things I am most uncomfortable talking about have mostly to do with being in mixed company and bodily functions, the natural acts that man does.  If you didn’t understand that…I am talking about the “s” word!

Now my when my kids were about 5, as most kids that age do, they asked a lot of questions.  I once asked Faith why she asked so many questions, she said “Daddy, I just want to know lots of stuff”.  It’s hard to argue with that logic!  I think they struggled mostly with words that sounded the same, were spelled different and had a different meanings.  Words like bread and bred.

I took a mare to be bred and as we were driving down the driveway the girls were asking a lot of questions and I, like a good father, was answering them….which means there had been so many questions that I was on autopilot with my answers.  Questions like:,

Faith:  “where are we taking Shady?”

Me:  “to the Kelley’s”.

Alicia:   “How long will she be there?”

Me:  “about a month.”

Now I knew this was heading down a road that I wasn’t sure I wanted to explain to 5 years olds yet.  But, I let the questions run on.  There were plenty of interruptions as something beside the road would distract them and another round of questions, about that distraction, would commence.  As we arrived at Kicking K Ranch, the questions about the mare were brought back to the fore front.

Alicia:  “Why are we taking Shady here?”

Me:  “to get bred.”

I could see this had gotten Faith’s attention.  You could see the little gears just clicking in her head as she pondered on that statement.  Finally she asked:

“Daddy, what is Shady going to do with bread?”

Needless to say, I got hysterical with laughter.  In her mind there was no difference and she could not figure out what Shady was going to do with a loaf of Mrs. Baird’s!  Once I collected myself enough to talk again, I knew I had a hard job in front of me.  Trying to explain to five year olds what the difference was, between bread and bred. As I matriculated in my mind about the best way to explain to two little girls the difference between the two, it suddenly got really hot in the truck.  Had my AC suddenly stopped working?  No, still blowing cold.  Why am I suddenly sweating and breathing like a dying man in the desert?  

 I consider myself a responsible father and want my girls to be informed, but all of the sudden I have turned into a hot, sweaty, nervous mess.  I really believe that country kids handle this talk better than most because they are around it all the time.  Animals breed, babies are born and so on….you know, the circle of life.  But here I am with my two little 5 year old girls struggling to find words to explain the difference between bread and bred…..aaaarrrrgghhhh!  It’s like my brain has locked up like an engine that has run out of oil!  I was a caveman who only spoke in monosyllables, “me, grog…only know few words…”

So I attempted to start…

“ya see, male horses have a…”

No, not really comfortable with that line of thought, so let’s try a different one…

“Mare’s…….”

Aaaarrrrgghhh!  I why can’t I think of any other words?

So I did the only thing I knew to do at the time……I told them to ask their mother!

I was working really hard on exasperating my kids….seems like there is a clear teaching on that….

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

 

P.S.

I am convinced I married up, my wife is the smartest woman I know!  She told them that it means the mare was going to have a baby!  AAARRRGGGGHHH!  Brain lock!  How simple is that, no need to go into all that detail!  Five year olds don’t need or want it!