To be honest, I have mourned the fact that my Queen has cancer. I wanted to shout at the world and say why us! Why is this happening!
Now, I’m not stupid (contrary to what some might believe)…I know she is not the only out there going through cancer. Heck, she is not even the only one that I know going through cancer. Our friend Cynthia has been dealing with some form or cancer for almost 20 years now, so I know we are not the only ones dealing with it. With the other people, though, I have been able to disconnect myself from what they are going through. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cynthia like a sister….but I am not married to her. This one hit close to home, my mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario. So I was an emotional wreck thinking about what my bride would have to go through. I mentioned previously (A Certain Amount of Denial) that I couldn’t talk about it without choking up. Well this had been going on since January 3rd and only in the last week have I had any peace about it.
Last Wednesday our pastor was asking us to name some of our favorite verses and I mentioned Philippians 4:13
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
And Colossians 2:6-7
“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness”
As I sat there kinda, sorta listening to everyone else…ok, I wasn’t really paying attention at that point. I was just staring at the words in my bible…the Lord chose that moment to reveal something to me. It was right there in from of me the whole time…..maybe the stupid thing does count for me…..
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Yesterday I spoke in front of our little church and gave testimony about how God was working in me. The peace that God is in control and I have no reason to fear.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still not ok with the speed at which things are moving along (we don’t see the doctor until mid February). But I have some peace in knowing that there is a reason and a purpose behind everything that God has done. My job is to pray for her and wait for that still small voice to tell us what to do next. Keep her in your prayers and we shall see what great thing God has planned next!