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Friday, July 13, 2012

The Devil and a Barking Dog

There was a young man that lived with us growing up in Loveland.  He’s not so young now, in fact last I saw him he didn’t have a lick of hair on his head.  I’ll call him Jon P.  He was one of my Dad’s friends brother, and for various reasons, he lived with us until he finished High School.

One day we were hauling hay from the field and stacking it.  My Grandpa (we called him Bummy because as kids, my brother and I couldn’t say grandpa and he became Bumpa.  It was gradually shortened as we got older.) Drove a 55 Chevy pickup, and it was sitting in the field.  My Dad told Jon and Andy (my Mom’s brother), "one of you go back and get Bummy’s pickup”.  They were both about 15 and just learning to drive so the race was on.  They ran like rabbits being chased by coyotes.  Jon beat Andy and grabbed the door to the pickup.  Unbeknownst to the boys, Bummy's old dog Zeke was laying underneath the pickup.  No one touched that pickup without Bummy being there when she was around. 

Monday, July 2, 2012

Bein’ Where You Ain’t Supposed To

In the spirit of “Lookin’ Where You Ain’t Supposed To”, I thought I would write another about myself.  I commented to someone last week that sometimes a horse wreck ain’t about a horse.  Sometimes it’s about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But I give credit to Jake Hershey for reminding me about this, even if I didn’t want to.

A few years ago I was happily chugging along in my own little world driving from Waller TX to Tomball TX.  It was about a 20 minute ride, which isn’t long unless you have to relieve yourself of a couple of bottles of coke.  By the time I got to Tomball, my back teeth were floating.  So as I roared into the Wal-Mart parking lot on two wheels and screeched to a halt as close to the door as I could possible get, I was not paying a lot of attention to…well anything!  I was completely and selfishly focused on my issue.  I almost sprinted to the door and as I stood there I was thinking how slow these automatic doors were, but I finally got inside.  Luckily the bathrooms were right inside the front door.  So as I thrust my hand up, to push the door open, I could see between my thumb and forefinger the word “MEN”.  I made it in the nick of time….

As I was standing there, doing my business….I noticed there were no urinals on the wall….strange….after I had finished and pulled that door open….I noticed two ladies in the returns department laughing.  I was wondering what they were laughing about, until I finished pulling that door open and noticed that my hand had covered up the “WO” on the door.  Thank the Lord there was no one in there but me!  I ran out of there like I was being chased by a hog!

Flash forward a year or so.  We were coming back from visiting Felicia’s grandmother and I again had myself in a bind.  We stopped at a little convenience store in Many LA.  I bolt through that door like I’m on fire and go down the hall where there is a bathroom on the right and on the left.  I had my eyes down checking to see how dirty the floor was (that’s how you tell if a bathroom is clean or not, if you didn’t know) and just chose the door on the left.  Went in locked it and did my business…again no urinal…strange….

As I came out, I see my wife and this female clerk cackling like crazy ladies.  My wife had just related my Wal-Mart story to her and I had obliged them by recreating the episode!  GAAHHWWW!  Sound it out, I think I said that exact word.

Flash forward again….hmmm…seems to be a pattern here…..

We were at the Katy Mills Mall in Katy TX.  This time I’m not in a bind, just had to go.  You would think at this point I would pay attention.  I turned the corner and walked into a bathroom and there was a woman standing at the sink washing her hands.  My first thought was “this lady is in the wrong bathroom”.  I don’t know why that would have been my first thought, with my history and all….but it was.  I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I jokingly said, “one of us is in the wrong bathroom!”  She pointed over my shoulder at the door and said, “you are!”.  I turned around and there was that word again…”W-O-M-E-N”…  GAAHWW!

After reliving this….I don’t even know how to end this post.  I can’t even think of a biblical lesson that can be learned here…but I’m sure there is one….what do you think?