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Monday, July 2, 2012

Bein’ Where You Ain’t Supposed To

In the spirit of “Lookin’ Where You Ain’t Supposed To”, I thought I would write another about myself.  I commented to someone last week that sometimes a horse wreck ain’t about a horse.  Sometimes it’s about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But I give credit to Jake Hershey for reminding me about this, even if I didn’t want to.

A few years ago I was happily chugging along in my own little world driving from Waller TX to Tomball TX.  It was about a 20 minute ride, which isn’t long unless you have to relieve yourself of a couple of bottles of coke.  By the time I got to Tomball, my back teeth were floating.  So as I roared into the Wal-Mart parking lot on two wheels and screeched to a halt as close to the door as I could possible get, I was not paying a lot of attention to…well anything!  I was completely and selfishly focused on my issue.  I almost sprinted to the door and as I stood there I was thinking how slow these automatic doors were, but I finally got inside.  Luckily the bathrooms were right inside the front door.  So as I thrust my hand up, to push the door open, I could see between my thumb and forefinger the word “MEN”.  I made it in the nick of time….

As I was standing there, doing my business….I noticed there were no urinals on the wall….strange….after I had finished and pulled that door open….I noticed two ladies in the returns department laughing.  I was wondering what they were laughing about, until I finished pulling that door open and noticed that my hand had covered up the “WO” on the door.  Thank the Lord there was no one in there but me!  I ran out of there like I was being chased by a hog!

Flash forward a year or so.  We were coming back from visiting Felicia’s grandmother and I again had myself in a bind.  We stopped at a little convenience store in Many LA.  I bolt through that door like I’m on fire and go down the hall where there is a bathroom on the right and on the left.  I had my eyes down checking to see how dirty the floor was (that’s how you tell if a bathroom is clean or not, if you didn’t know) and just chose the door on the left.  Went in locked it and did my business…again no urinal…strange….

As I came out, I see my wife and this female clerk cackling like crazy ladies.  My wife had just related my Wal-Mart story to her and I had obliged them by recreating the episode!  GAAHHWWW!  Sound it out, I think I said that exact word.

Flash forward again….hmmm…seems to be a pattern here…..

We were at the Katy Mills Mall in Katy TX.  This time I’m not in a bind, just had to go.  You would think at this point I would pay attention.  I turned the corner and walked into a bathroom and there was a woman standing at the sink washing her hands.  My first thought was “this lady is in the wrong bathroom”.  I don’t know why that would have been my first thought, with my history and all….but it was.  I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I jokingly said, “one of us is in the wrong bathroom!”  She pointed over my shoulder at the door and said, “you are!”.  I turned around and there was that word again…”W-O-M-E-N”…  GAAHWW!

After reliving this….I don’t even know how to end this post.  I can’t even think of a biblical lesson that can be learned here…but I’m sure there is one….what do you think?

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