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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tales from the Dental Chair

In honor of my kids finishing the 6th grade today, I am going to tell a story on them (or on me, as the case may be!).

When we go to the dentist, I usually take the girls and get my teeth cleaned at the same time.  We have been using the same lady since the girls’ first visits, when they were around 6 or 7.  In fact she was our neighbor for a period of time, so the girls were very comfortable with her.

This starts out just like any other visit, the girls take turns getting their teeth cleaned as Pam talks to us about what they are doing and what her kids are doing.  Just normal chit-chat stuff.

As soon as Alicia is done (it used to be a long drawn out affair, she did not like the rinse and almost always had to threaten with a spanking before she would rinse and spit.).  As I got in the chair the girls were really getting warmed up with their talking.  As Pam was working on me (picture me mouth open with all of the cleaning tools whirring and buzzing around), the girls started talking about my bathroom habits!  They proceeded to tell her about dropping bombs, gas expulsion and it seemed like all my personal habits!

All I could do (embarrassed as I was) was sit in the chair (because Pam was not slowing down with the cleaning) with my mouth open and say “u u, u u, o alking!”  Which translates to (for all of you out there that have not been in this situation) “shut up, shut up, stop talking”. 

Unfortunately the girls did not speak this dialect and kept right on spouting info like they were being tortured at Gitmo!  Pam, of course, thought this whole exchange was pretty dag gummed hilarious!  She said she learned more about me than she thought she would ever want to know……I agree with her.  Way too much info was passed that day!

As soon as we got out of there (without my dignity, I had to leave that in Pam’s office.  It was on the floor, next to my pride.) And got to the truck…I had that talk with them about what happens at home….stays at home!  And if I want people to know things about me, I will tell them!  I didn’t know if we were going to a new dental hygienist or not, but eventually I figured the info was out there and all I could do was laugh about it. 

BUT, I am saving some juicy tidbits for when they start to date.  I won’t be the only one running off boys; some of their habits will also be on display!

I have said that my kids make me laugh; well I can laugh about this now!

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