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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Insert Evil Laugh Here

If you look up overprotective in the dictionary, here is what you will find.

Not really, but I wish it was.  See I think that God has given me the two most beautiful daughters in the world.  And I am highly suspicious of all boys, because I was one, and most are just like I was.  They may not act on it, but they do think it!  I will need to protect them from guys like me.  That’s a pretty scary prospect!  I will know exactly what every boy that comes around is thinking, they don’t stand a chance.  If you want to beat your enemy, you must understand how they think…..I think I have that covered!

Last week the girls had a Valentine’s dance at school.  I told the girls that I was going to show up and “bust a move” on the dance floor (not even really sure what that means….).   They laughed and joked about it, but I think they both were a little bit afraid I would actually do it.  But their Momma knew better, I am rhythmically challenged, if it is much more than shuffling your feet….I am in trouble.  I thought I had a pretty good idea about how things would go, based on how I was in 7th grade.  I had told the girls it would be a bunch of girls out dancing with each other and the boys would be standing around with their hands in their pockets, talking about how they really didn’t want to dance right now anyway.  And that when there was about thirty minutes left, some boy would get brave and risk the first rejection.

 At this point in my story to the girls, I had a small bit of pity for the boys.  Really, I did!  At that age most boys have the idea that they have to ask the girl to dance (as they should) and all a girl has to do, to shoot them down like a Japanese war plane, is just say no.  Of course girls have other pressures that I was more concerned about at that moment, so my pity for the boys passed in about 2 seconds. 
The dance started at 3ish and I was supposed to pick my girls up at 5, but I moved it up to 4:30.  I was somewhat prepared; I knew there would be some mixed dancing….

I was not prepared for the amount that I saw when I walked in the door!   My chest started hurting, I couldn’t catch my breath and my vision started getting a little blurry.  Holy moly, I would say about 80 percent of the “teenagers” were dancing boy/girl!  And slow dancing, to boot!  What had I been thinking, letting my girls go to this!?!?!?!  One of the teachers walked up to me, I think to check to see if I was going to be ok.  I was clutching my chest, staggering and I couldn’t catch my breath.  But, it turns out she was only asking which kids I was here to pick up.  I was finally able gasp out, “there is entirely too much touching going on here!”  She had the nerve to laugh!  I finally told her the girl’s names and she moved off to find them.  Leaving me there standing by the door, thinking about how many years, per boy, you get for burying some in the back yard. 
Once the girls came, I waited till they got in the truck before I asked the $64,000 dollar question….”did you dance with any boys?”  I asked because I wanted to be sure how deep and wide I would need the hole.  They both looked at me like I was crazy, “no, we didn’t dance with any boys!”  My heart leaped for joy!  Both for the fact that they had not got to that point in their lives yet and the fact that I would not have to go to prison….yet!

I wrote this story of the girls dance sorta jokingly, the world wants our kids to grow up so fast.  Why should a 7th or 8th grader be concerned a relationship with the opposite sex?  Good golly, they are still so young!  But the world continues to promote relationships at 12-13-14-15 years old, it’s crazy!  Look at what’s on TV, for kids to watch.  Shows, even on the mouse ears channel, that promote relationships.  Aren’t our kids under enough pressure, without adding relationships?  Keep your kids close to you, protect them from the world and let them grow at the pace God intended.
Psalm 127:3
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

I say I wrote this jokingly, I guess the boys will have to find out for sure…..

Muhahahaha (evil laugh)  

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